...yes. Yes I do. *squints*

Several things of brilliance to promote here! In no particular order:

1) 6shotamericano has posted chapter eight of her Foundations audio fic. It's marvellous but will in all likelihood make you cry.

2) ficreader76 has drawn a beautiful Draco-in-a-sweater-and-nothing-else, following a conversation of ours, that is so very pretty <3

3) helly_hellstrom is currently translating Reparations into Russian--the first two chapters are completed and can be found here.

4) I also wanted to give a good Looshus-style pimpcane prod to the only two WIPs I am currently reading. I detest WIPs for a variety of reasons [impatience and distrust that the author will complete the story being two of them] but if you like well-written post-war H/D with humour and drama and lovely dialogue then I recommend both veritas03 's Paws of Fury and From the Ashes by dannyfranx . Both are well worth the WIP-risk and are updated regularly. Just saying ;)

And finally, today's Pimp Carnival is brought to you by Wednesday night's 'Ramblings from Marie's barely conscious mind'.

Marie: Be careful, the police are coming to steal your song.
Me: My song?
Marie: Yes. The one about you in West Virginia.
Me: [baffled, as I have neither written or HEARD a song about West Virginia. Ever.] Er, ok. The police as in... Sting and the Police?
Marie: [as though this is obvious] Yes, Sting!
Me: Right. And why is that?
Marie: [sadly] Because he's not very original any more. We'll have to feed him when he gets here.
Me: [intrigued] And what will we feed him?
Marie: Barley.
Me: [snort] On its own? For an international celebrity?
Marie: [suddenly sounding delighted. And loud.] PEARL BARLEY!
Me: ...
Marie: There will be a stew.
Me: And then what will he do, once he's had his stew and stolen my song?
Marie: Oh, he'll be leaving the celebrity world, before he has to be bailed out of anything else.

Sadly, this was as much information as I could get on the imminent downfall of Sting before she started snoring. Maybe I should call his agent.

Just a very quick note to say I'm still alive and to apologise for not yet replying to your comments on my latest fic! For shame. I shall be doing that very soon, I promise.

I have been at Marie's for a week now and am thoroughly chilled out, loved up and all those other sickening things that I shan't go on about for fear of inducing projectile vomiting amongst my flist.

However. Today, in about ten minutes, I am....

....MEETING THE PARENTS.

Please pray for me.... *cries quietly and wrings hands*

Ok, and now I have 'Can't Touch This' stuck in my head, so that's karma for you.

Two things to pimp today!

Firstly, the lovely 6shotamericano has posted Chapter Seven of her quite frankly fantastic Foundations audio-fic, which can be found here. Go forth, download, enjoy, and leave her a lovely comment, because she deserves it, she's been working way too hard, and it really is a marvellously-done chapter :D

Secondly, the far-more-talented-than-she-thinks ficreader76has provided me with some beautiful art for 'Talk to Me'.  It's shirtless!Harry and sweater!Draco in the hospital wing, and is so pretty -sigh- Despite her threats to blush, I am hereby pimping the hell out of it and urging you all to go seeeee. Here, at deviantart. <3

My spider seems to have gone for a wander this morning but it's fine because I know he's alright :D It's also rather nice to have my mother back. This morning I was presented with a bowl of [cooked] carrots for breakfast, which I ate sitting on the kitchen floor, before playing kitchen cricket with a gigantic cardboard tube and an empty plastic milk carton.

"Four!" I called as the milk carton skittered across the floor and hit the steps. "One!" yelled my mother, waving the cardboard tube. Because she only hit it once, apparently. I don't think my mother understands this game....

<3

He's back! 

He's only fucking BACK!

I didn't kill him! My shameful failage at protecting him did not lead to his horrible death/maiming at the hands of my window cleaner!

I am slightly ashamed to admit, but I'm going to do it anyway, but when I looked out and saw him swaying gently on a new web in the corner of the window, I made flaily noises, became embarrassingly stingy-eyed, and couldn't stop grinning for some minutes. His new web is small but I'm sure it will soon be as impressive as the old one, and he has all of his legs in the correct configuration [I checked].

Cheers for all the optimism, guys! <3 He really is a tough and/or fast little thing.

And now I'm going to go and order a pizza to celebrate. I'm so pleased to have him back. My life is very strange, isn't it? O.o

Adam is performing the customary pimp dance for me ^^ because at present the lovely Loosh is lost somewhere on the M6 between Coventry and Lancaster. It's being_here's fault, not mine. She didn't give him a map.

Anyway, if you like Foundations!verse, you should go and check out 'Reading the Prophet' by dornfelder, which is a series of little vignettes set during chapter twelve and depicts various characters' reactions to Rita Skeeter's article of doom. A gift for me! *smooches*

It's about 2,000 words, PG-13, and fabulous <3 Go see, go see!

--

This post is brought to you by this comment--apropos of nothing--from my mother: "But why would you have ball bearings in your vag?"

Er, yes. Why indeed.

Title: The Art of Slytherin Napping
Pairing: HPDM
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~1,600 [attempted drabble]
Warnings: FLUFF. Slash. Foundations!verse, est/rel
Summary: Draco is rubbish at sleeping. Sort of.

( It's really fluffy. I'm sleepy. I wanted to write about snuggly things *wrings hands* )

Oh  my goodness.

The wonderful, bonkers being_here  has written a Lucius/Harry fic for me! It's NC-17, a very smutty PWP with some hilariously surreal touches which I just <3 Contains bondage, orgasm denial, rimming, hair!kink, various sex toys and the gratuitous use of a cane.

Cane fic can be found here at her journal. If you're in a kinky mood, go see! She is awesome, and I think writing this fic broke her brain.

--

Also, the lovely naturegirlrocks  has done some art inspired by my fic, 'Rainfall' which is gorgeous [boyskissing, yay!] and can be found here.


*takes Loosh's cane and performs the pimp dance*

I think being ill--not to mention the consequent 3 days of self-imposed near-starvation--has addled my brain.

Just spent the last hour and a half watching Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey from under my duvet and did not just sniffle at the end like a normal person, but sobbed my heart out at various intervals throughout the movie. Seriously. Fisherman-guy pulls Sassy out of the river? Sob. Sassy finds them in the field when they think she died? Sob. Shadow can't get out of the hole under the railway? Sob.

Fuck's sake. My pillow is wet.

If you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend it. It's fluffy as anything, in more ways than one :D


Aaaand... I don't know how this reminded me, but I was suddenly aware that I'd pimped 6shotamericano 's Foundations audiofic on the H/D comms but not here. Because I'm an eejit. Anyway, in case you didn't know, she's posting as a WIP this time and as such Chapter One can now be downloaded [her original post is here].

Her reading is, of course, fantastic, and I'm sure she'd love your feedback if you download the chapter. I know she's planning to update this regularly, too <3

I'm so excited right now that it's almost embarrassing.

For the past couple of months, the very cool and insanely talented 6shotamericano  and I have been collaborating to audio-fic-ise Reparations. I say 'collaborate' and I mean that she did 97% of the work, and I listened to the chapters and provided omgflailyou'reawesome-type feedback.

It's been the most wonderfully fun project, and now it's finished! All ten chapters are now available for download as mp4 files from her 4shared page, but I'm linking to her original post here, because seriously, if you download and listen to these [which you absolutely should if you enjoyed the fic at all] you must go and tell her how fantastic she is.

Fantastic! Honestly. She and her brilliantly dry delivery have brought my daft words to life and I'm just <33

Go, go see! *bounces*